By Whiney Writer
How hard could it be?
I’m really social, or I used to be back before I started writing, so social media ought to be easy for me. My Aunt Gertrude says, “Whiney, you can talk to anyone!”
I don’t know why she makes that funny face when she says it.
Hah. Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Goodreads, LinkedIn, and that’s just the start. How’s a writer supposed to have any life away from the computer? I’ve been so busy that I missed two episodes of Men in Kilts: Topeka. I didn’t even record them.
Some of the social media is almost as exciting, though. Even really famous people post on some of those sites. Anyone can comment. An awful lot of people do. That was discouraging for a little while, but I’m a glass-half-full kind of person.
I had this great idea for standing out from all the other zillions of people on Twitter. I’ll recast my SciFi/Zombie/Romance/Mystery/Thriller/Western as a series of linked haiku. I spent hours going through Tweets, and no one else is doing that.
So, I tweeted the first one:
Flying white petals
Seek the red pools beneath her
Cowboy’s breathing corpse.
Then I started looking at all the other places I could link to, because that’s really important. You don’t want people to just find you in one place, oh no! They should bump into you wherever they are on the Internet. Won’t they just think I’m clumsy?
I’m also puzzled. You’re supposed to make it different in different places, and I don’t quite understand how that’s supposed to work. How many ways can I tell people to buy my book? Maybe I could put pictures of my office on Pinterest? I have lots of craft projects in the room.
Some of the social media world is kind of scary. I mean, what if I post something stupid and it goes viral? Even if it doesn’t go viral, will the stupid post ever really go away? When you’re as outgoing as I am, sometimes you say things that you want to take back, and I think maybe you can’t.
When I was a kid the principal used to warn students that something they’d done would go on their permanent record. Not me, of course. This sounds like a huge grade school principal’s office, only somebody left the PA system turned on and the whole school can hear what’s going on. And somebody’s recording it.
I could just stick with tweeting my novel in haikus, but then how would it get to be as famous as it deserves?
This social media stuff is hard.
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